You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
