so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
