Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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