either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
