I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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