i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
