At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love having hate sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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