I have demons in me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
