I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
