I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
