hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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