Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
