Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
