She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
