apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
