hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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