Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
