I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
