problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This girl is more easily done than said...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
