last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
