I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
