So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
