i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm always down for nudity.
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