she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
