He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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