So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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