Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
