When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
