I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can u get pink eye on your cock?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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