what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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