found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
