Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Randomize
