Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
