he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
