Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
