Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
