I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
BRING THE BAGELS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
