i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
