I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
