Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
