Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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