goodnight i made you a song goodbye
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
