no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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