Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
