The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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