i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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