Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
