hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
