My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
