In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
