TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
