Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
