Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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